Twelve Days of RoI
by Amberstar of Thunderclan
Summary: The Iron Song is now complete. A countdown to Rise of Iron!*much less cheesy than it sounds* BE FREE, BRASK! FREEEEEEEE!
1. Day 1

**12**

 **On the first day of RoI, my true love gave to me:**

 **A Hive Worm in a pantry!**

He didn't trust her. Rule number one of being a Warlock; never trust the Hunters.

So when Sierra said she left him a present for his birthday, a rare material from the Dreadnaught, he naturally, absolutely, DID NOT TRUST HER.

"You weren't home, so I just dumped it in your kitchen." she'd said with a careless wave of her hand. Naturally, he didn't trust that. He strode down the hall, trying to guess what the heck she may have done.

 _She probably rigged my door to dump something on me again._ The disadvantage of being leader of a fireteam was that the leader was the one that always got pranked. He hadn't realized this when accepting this honor, but after several months, it had become apparent to him as to why the Titan in their little group had declined the position.

So Alex had been stuck with it instead, while Carlton was sitting pretty in a living room NOT tarnished by honey stains.

He paused in front of his door, and took a deep breath. _Okay, Sierra; what have you got in store for me this time._ He took his key out of his pocket, slipped it into the lock(AFTER checking to make sure she hadn't stuffed something into the keyhole or rigged it in any way), turned, and pulled it out quickly, jumping back, not wanting to press his luck.

Holding his breath and moving slowly, he turned the nob. His neighbor, another Warlock, gave him an odd look upon exiting his own home. Alex offered him a sheepish grin.

"Hunters, right?" he explained. The other Warlock shrugged.

"I tend to avoid them." he replied before walking off. Alex returned his focus back to the half-turned nob. He reached up to adjust his Spirit of the Vulture bond, trying to stall himself for time. _These Iron Banner robes are brand spanking new; Sierra, I SWEAR if this is honey or something else that doesn't wash out..._

To top it off, he'd gone through a lengthy process to find just the right shade of copper-orange to dye his new armor set. He'd succeeded; it created the desired affect of making him look like a Warlock made of fire in full light of the sunset. He believed that a Guardian as beautiful as the sun was more terrifying than a whole skiff full of stealth Fallen. Much like how Sierra was convinced a bladedancer who shone like white diamonds struck more fear into the Darkness than a whole legion of nightstalkers firing from the shadows.

Carlton couldn't care less about fashion. He just wore the armor that made him look as big as he could look.

Slowly, standing as far back as he could, he finished turning the nob, and pushed the door open a crack. He jerked his hand back for fear of ruining his robes, and, with one foot, gave the door a tender kick that pushed it open about halfway. Cautiously, he stuck his head through. He looked up. _Huh. No bucket! I'm safe!_

Putting on a grin with a 'hmph' of satisfaction, he strode into his home, and closed the door. His was a very quaint place of living. In the main room, the one he'd just walked into, there was a simple, blue couch with a long, pine wood table in front of it. The floor below this furniture was occupied by a blue, red, gray, and white thin-striped rug that reached all the way to the door. On the wall, facing the couch, was a small screen that would display reports from throughout the city. News, any new Traveler activity, the occasional word from the Reef, SRL coverage, and sometimes even one or two old earth entertainment programs.

Pushed against the far wall was his dinning table, made of oak. He was particularly proud of it, as he'd worked on it during his assignment in the Reef, during the hunt for Skolas. He'd done a few scouting missions with the Crows, provided some intelligence, and had been unable to resist taking back the perfect oak log when he'd found it on earth.

Variks had been particularly curios about his carving habits, and he'd shown the Fallen a few of his techniques, the two of them forming a loose friendship. Petra had just though it was weird, and a few people had snickered behind his back(contrary to popular belief, he HAD noticed that) as he and Carlton hauled it onto his ship the day they left.

Near this table was the doorway to his kitchen, also quaint. A few cupboards lined the upper walls, and a window overlooking the north wall sat above his stove, giving him a rather nice view while he cooked. Next to the kitchen was the door to his bedroom, which was bare, save his bed and a desk(with a chair, of course), which had a lamp on it, as well as a small stand for his Ghost to go into sleep mode on. The small computer was a modest three terabytes, and was mostly for recreation; he was writing a murder mystery, and so far, what he'd read to Ikora had impressed her. It was only 100,000 words at this point; nowhere NEAR finished, yet.

The bathroom was also simple; a tub, a showerhead, a toilet and sink. He'd found some rather nice towels down in the city, though; russet, with leaf pattered embroidered on the ends. They accented the place rather nicely.

 _Ah, everything's where it should be._ He thought, standing near the entryway, sighing with satisfaction. Then it hit him; what if something _wasn't_ as it seemed? He might not be safe yet!

Immediately, he got to checking every nook and cranny in the house. He lifted each pillow on his couch; heck, he lifted one end of the couch and checked underneath it! He looked under all his tables, his bed, even under the rug. He checked behind his 'TV', and even checked his computer for random spam from unknown companies. In the end, all that was left was the kitchen, which he dreaded going into.

 _That's where Sierra said she left me my "present"._ He barely suppressed the shudder that ran through him. Who KNEW what she had put on there. Cautiously again, he approaching his kitchen. He stuck his head slowly around the corner, and looked around. Nothing seemed changed. The oven was closed, the stove wasn't on, the sink was still shining and clean. There was nothing on the black counters-

 _Nothing on the counters._ There was nothing here; no 'present'. _Alright Sierra; what did you do to me?_

He suddenly became aware of a noise coming from one of the cupboards. A sort of scraping sound. Cautiously, he approached it. He took up arms in the form of a frying pan that he'd put in the sink to be cleaned. He bit his lip, and backed up a little, stretching his arm as far as it would go to grab the handle of the cupboard. _Best to do it quick; like a Band-Aid._ The young Warlock thought.

He yanked the door open...

And a Worm fell out with a screech. Louder still, was the girly scream of the Warlock as he beat it repetitively with the frying pan.

* * *

 **Yes, there will be more of this. Yes, maybe every day. It depends on whether or not I forget about this tomorrow.**

 **No, do not expect me to update my other stuff. I kind of lost my steam for _Siblings_ and _Who he Was_ after I started playing Destiny.**

 **YES, oh most certainly YES, there will be a sequel to _Fish_. Private Hieyaki and the ridiculous immaturities of the _Normandy_ 's crew CANNOT, and WILL NOT, be forgotten as we approach Halloween. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about... well, lets just say, _Fish_ is one of those things you don't read while drinking stuff. Or eating. You WILL choke or spit-take.**

 **This is a far difference from my last Destiny fic, which was all depressing. I play the game more than I write for it. Now, if it's a consistent series you want, you may have seen or heard of my bestie, Jayfeattheris Awesome. If you want destiny comedy, she is the one you go to.**

 **Twelve days to RoI!**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	2. Day 2

**11**

 **On the second day of RoI, my true love gave to me:**

 **Two brand new knives!**

Zavala walked into the war room with his coffee... to find Cayde-6, Shiro-4, Tevis Larsen, and Andal Brask weeping at Brask's corner of the table. He spit-took.

Tevis swooned against Cayde tragically, while Shiro hummed a solemn requiem, one arm around Brask's shoulders. The Hunter Vanguard was cradling something - two something's - in his arms while crying uncontrollably.

"What the hell is going on here!?" he demanded striding up to the four weeping Guardians.

"GONE! SOILED! RUINED FOREVER! GOOOOOOOONNNNE!" Brask wailed, holding out two melted forms, which seemed to once have been his knives. His heavily-carved, very ornate knives. He dropped them, covered his eyes with one arm, and pointed at the nonchalant Ikora. "It's her fault! She burned them! She BURNED THEM DEEEEEAAAAAD!"

"It would not have happened it you had taken my word for it." She replied calmly. Cayde-6's wailing hitched in response before renewing at a louder decibel. Suddenly, Tevis seemed to collapse in on himself, falling to the floor, where he rocked himself back and forth on his bum, sniffling and blinking and whimpering with his thumb in his mouth. _OH FOR GOODNESS SAKES! IT'S JUST A PAIR OF KNIVES!_

"You can buy new knives, Andal." he said, taking a deep breath through his nose, drinking in the scent of his coffee-which was getting colder by the second, by the way.

"But not THESE ONES!" the Gunslinger waved the twisted forms in front of Zavala's face. Meanwhile, Tevis fell over, curled up in the fetal position, still sucking his thumb. Cayde threw himself limply onto the table, going 'boneless'. He slowly slid off again, looking up at Zavala silently with pathetic blue optics.

"I can cry for all the world, yet never shed a tear!" he lamented. "So I've decided to just give up crying, and look as pathetic as possible instead."

Shiro-4 patted his fellow exo on the head. "I hear you buddy. I hear ya."

Zavala raised an eyebrow in Ikora's direction skeptically. The Warlock calmly lifted the cloth off of the small pedestal on her end of the table, and blue fire surged up out of it.

"He wished to prove that Gunslinger fire was better than any artificial flame a Warlock could create. I warned him against this, and he refused to believe. Therefor, his knives melted the moment they touched the flames." she explained calmly. Brask let out a strained whimper, which Zavala ignored.

"Guys, guys!" a new Hunter rushed in, carrying a long package.

"OHMYGOSHTHETORTUREISOVER!" Tevis exclaimed suddenly. Cayde seemed to melt completely with a sigh of relief, and Shiro forcefully turned Brask around by the shoulders to face the newcomer, who held out the small box. Shiro tore the lid off, snatched the two new knives from the wrapping, and waved them in Brask's face.

"Dude, these are EXACTLY LIKE YOUR OLD ONES. It's like they never left." he insisted. Brask took the knives up in his hands, and, after a few moments, broke down in tears again.

"THEY LOOK LIKE THE ONE'S I HAD SINCE I WAS REVIVED! THE ONES _SHE_ MELTED!" _Ugh, they're just being purposefully ridiculous now._ he thought as the Hunter pointed at Ikora accusingly again. Tevis made a frustrated noise, and Shiro-4 facepalmed, while Cayde banged his forehead against the edge of the table, and the new hunter just backed away slowly.

"You know what?" Shiro said suddenly, clapping his hands together. "let's just all go outside and take a breather, right? A quick little walk around the City, maybe a drink of water, perhaps some elephant tranquilizer to top it all off, eh?

"Yea." Tevis and Cayde both chorused, raising their hands, Cayde allowing his own to fall back down limply onto the table with a bang. Shiro gripped Brask by the shoulders firmly, and began to lead the Hunter Vanguard away.

"Right! That's a plan! See you later, Commander, we gotta split." he said hastily, pushing past the Titan Awoken with his friend up front. He leant in close to whisper in his ear as he passed. "Trust me, you know it's for the best for all of us."

Tevis and Cayde left behind them. On his way past Zavala, Cayde pat him on the shoulder cheerily. "See ya' round, papa smurf."

"What did you just call me?" he growled menacingly, leaning his face in so that he was none-to-nose with the Exo.

"N-nothing! Nothing! Ha ha!" he backed away, hands raised innocently. "Yeeeeaah... goodbye."

Zavala grumbled under his breath as the Exo dashed away after his fellow Hunters.

* * *

Shiro-4 fist-bumped the two Hunters on either side of him, Tevis smirking smugly, and Cayde pulling his hood up in what was meant as a rougish-looking manor. Brask turned and glared at them all.

"THAT," he said slowly,"was the most self-degrading thing I've ever done in my ENTIRE. LIFE."

"Ugh, speak for yourself!" Tevis protested. "I was the one who had to curl up like a baby!"

"Pretending to feel sorry for your fake knives, THAT was self-degrading!" Cayde agreed.

"This had better be worth it." Brask growled begrudgingly, though they could all see the gratefulness in his eyes. Cayde vaulted over the pilot seat, ans snuggled into it. He looked over his shoulder playfully.

"Well, then, captain; where to first?"

* * *

 **BE FREE, BRASK!**

 **I was listening to "Dirty Paws" for a majority of writing this; it just fits Hunters so well for some reason!**

 ***clutches heart***

 **Someone REVIEWED my fanfiction!? That NEVER happens!**

 **Keep em' coming, folks! I will be thanking you, yes?**

 **Read and REVIEW! *might as well make that my sign-off***


	3. Day 3

**10**

 **On the third day of Rise of Iron, my true love gave to me:**

 **Three exotic swords!**

"You did WHAT!?" Alex exclaimed as Sierra blinked serenely up at him from where she hung upside-down from the branch of a tree in the usually off-limits section of the Tower known as Bannerfall. Not a whole lot of Guardians came in here, mostly because of Shaxx's Crucible matches; an off-duty Guardian getting shot in the face by accident made it an awkward match for the participants.

"I hid the Dark Drinker." she repeated, yawning, crossing her arms and swinging casually, her long, auburn hair flowing in the light breeze. There was a long pause.

"He's going to kill you." Alex stated.

" I know. That's why I went ahead and hid all three of them; why get killed if you're only going to do the job part-way." she reasoned, shrugging. Alex paled.

"All three?" he whispered faintly, paling.

"Yup!" she chirped cheerily. "Oh, and I kinda hid the Bolt Caster at your place; hope you don't mind!

Alex looked like he might be sick.

"ALLLL! SIERRRAA!" roared an angry voice. Alex whirled around to see the raving-mad Titan Carlton Evens rushing towards them, all three exotic swords cradled in his arms. If looks could kill, both Alex and Sierra would be dead ten times over. He picked up Raze Lighter, waving it in the air.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH WITH ALL THREE OF THESE!" he screamed. Alex felt Sierra pat him on the shoulder, dropping from the tree to land on her feet.

"Now's when we star running, mate." She told him in a British accent.

So, they ran.

* * *

 **Okay, so this was shamefully short. Don't worry, this next one will make up for it. For tomorrow, we head to the Reef, where it turns out that a certain scribe is deathly afraid of spiders... For some reason bold text won't work right now.**

 **Thank you all for the AWESOME support you've been giving! Hype, I shall!**

 **Keep up the reading!**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	4. Day 4

**9**

 **On the fourth day of Rise of Iron, my true love gave to me:**

 **Four giant spiders!**

Petra walked across the hard metal floor, deep in thought. It had been almost a year since the Battle of Saturn. There were rumors of something deadly stirring in the Cosmodrome; whispers of "ironsbane" and "plague" among the few Guardians that still visited.

Oddly enough, the number of visitors had dropped around the same time the whispers had begun. That was three days ago. Three days of no answers, tight-lipped Guardians, and odd behavior around Variks. They were giving the scribe a wide breadth, and if she didn't know any better, she'd say his feelings were hurt by it. She'd asked about it, but they'd simply answered that it was "just a quarantine precaution". Quarantine for _what_?

Though these were mainly the thoughts that occupied her mind, a larger part of her worry was over the still MIA Prince. Almost a year, and with all their searching, all the effort they had put into finding him, and there was still no sign of Uldren? Almost a year without contact with civilization... what kind of state would he be in? Would he still be alive? Was he out there right now, on his last legs, starving or bleeding to death, dying of thirst or being tortured into insanity by their enemies?

He would choose insanity over giving away any Awoken secrets, she could be sure of that. Whether or not the search for Prince Uldren was a lost cause after all this time... she didn't know the answer to that anymore. In the beginning, she'd been certain they could find him. When evidence had started pointing to mars, she'd been sure, he'd be back within a week.

That week turned into a month.

That month turned into several months.

Now, those several months were turning into a year.

She'd held out a brief hope, during the campaign against the Wolves that had hunkered down on mars, that the Guardians might find something of a clue as to where he may be.

That hope had long since faded. She'd asked a few Hunters how long some of their caliber were known to stay in the wilds for. Most told her that by a year, even the most experienced Hunter would have gone insane from the isolation by a year; Uldren, who was most certainly not a Guardian, would most likely be dead or insane by now. On a planet like mars... with so little water...

A howl of terror interrupted her thoughts. Her hand shot to her knife, and she rushed towards Variks's tent. She pulled back the curtains forcefully, dreading the worst.

Rouge Silent Fang, finally deciding to take revenge? Misguided Guardian, convinced they were doing the right thing, or that they had been wronged? Horrific household accident(those were always a possibility)?

"Kill them!" Variks screeched from where he'd scrambled on top of his makeshift bed, pointing. "KILL THEM DEAD!"

She looked at what he was pointing at...

In time to see a spider the size of her torso launch itself at her.

 _NOPE!_ She flung herself backwards and to the side, and the arachnid of unusual size(let us call it an A.O.U.S.) overshot her, landing on it's eight feet. She screamed, jerking as she felt and saw another one crawl across her leg.

"SOMEONE KILL THESE DAMNED THINGS!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, throwing her knife at the one that had jumped on her and kicking the one that had crawled on her. Variks burst out of his tent, making a mad dash for the Eververse kiosk. When he got there, he scrambled to the top of it, and took out his shock pistol, growling and pointing his staff at the oncoming arachnids spear-style.

A few of the Guardians who had paused upon hearing the commotion double-took and, in some cases, even jumped, at the sight of two more A.O.U.S. following the scribe, crawling over Petra to do so. One huntress screamed and jumped up on top of the kiosk with Variks. That was the last sight Petra got of them, because just then, the spider she had kicked landed on top of her.

She gripped it's pincers as it tried to bite into her neck, her heart pounding in her throat. Something that probably wasn't saliva dripped from it's fangs. _Oh, please it can't end like this!_ Killed by a spider, in her own outpost!? If Prince Uldren was alive, he would probably facepalm when he found out that the acting regent-commander of the Awoken had been killed by an arachnid of unusual size.

 _How did these things get here, anyway!?_

"Hold still!" A nearby voice told her. She was suddenly aware of a Warlock in ornate, knight-like armor at her side. he got down on his side next to her, and threw out his right hand palm-first, sending the spider flying back, engulfed in flames.

"Thanks for that." she told him gratefully as he stood up, helping her to her feet. He nodded.

"No problem." he said.

"DIE YOU BUTT-UGLY BASTARDS!"

Both their heads snapped around in time to see a female Titan smash her fists down on the general area or residence of the other two spiders. One was desitigrated by arc energy, and the other was send flying back behind the long table. Slowly, Variks crawled down from the kiosk, and the Huntress followed him, staying behind the scribe.

"Do ya' think it's dead, guys?" she whispered. The Titan breathed on her fist before rubbing it on her shoulder.

"Nothing can survive a Fist of Havoc, sista'!" she bragged.

The spider flew out from behind the table, making the distance between itself an the three of them in the space of a moment.

"IT'S FREAKING IMMORTAL!" The Titan screamed, eyes wide with horror.

The Hunter snatched Variks's staff from him, screaming, and hit the spider with all the force she could muster.

And she hit it repetitively.

"DIE! DIE! DIE YOU SON OF A THRALL! DIIEEE!" she screeched, hitting it with each word. Petra ran forwards when the spider was nothing but pulp; they didn't need a bigger mess for the Frames to clean up than they already had.

"Hey-hey! Easy!" she shouted, hands held out. "Back down Guardian; I think it's dead now."

Panting heavily, the Huntress stopped. One of the spiders legs, sticking out of the pile, twitched, and she brought the staff down again.

Slowly, Variks pried his possession out of her hands, before patting her on the head.

* * *

 **I just had to write this. The temptation was too strong to write Variks with arachnophobia. Stay tuned! Next time, we visit the Iron Lords, back before the Ironsbane was even rumored of...**

 **I'm so glad this is getting such great reception! For some reason, when I updated yesterday, FFN didn't display it as being updated. Just in case you lot were wondering... I AM currently writing/planning a sequel to the epitome of ridiculous, my Mass Effect one-shot, _Fish_. If you haven't read it, go do so NOW. But be warned; it is a product of April 1st immaturity, and as such, it may be too much for some of you to handle.**

 **Also, someone pretty please go read and review my Star Trek:DS9/ Harry Potter crossover, Siblings. It's my masterpiece, but I've begun to lose my passion for it because it never gets any love! It's four chapters, with over 16,000 words! People usually dig that!**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	5. Day 5

**8**

 **On the fifth day of Rise of Iron, my true love gave to me:**

 **Five, wolf puppies!**

"It's not going to wooork." Efrideet said in a sing-song voice as she sat, upside-down, in a nearby chair, legs crossed over the back of it with the right one swinging nonchalant circles in the air.

"I'm going to have to agree with 'Deet on this one; they're wild animals by blood and nature. Training them... with our kind of limited resources and time." Felwinter, who was nearby, leaning against a wall, looked up from his book, shook his head. "It just won't work, you two."

"Shame upon you, yee of little faith!" Jolder declared boldly, struggling too keep the animals in order. "We shall tame these beasts, and then we shall see who's laughing then, hmm!? Tell them, Sal!"

"It will be difficult." He agreed from where he sat on the floor, cross-legged, holding one puppy by it's sides, trying simultaneously to keep it close enough not to escape, but far enough to keep it from licking his face. "But in the end, we believe the rewards will be worth it."

"I still fail to see how this will help us defend the mountain." Perun stated from where she was crouched near the fireplace, sharpening one of her knives. Jolder looked at her challengingly, holding up one puppy in her right hand.

"Picture this;" she started, "a crew of Fallen trying to make their way up the mountain while we're not here. Then BAM! A pack of wolves rise up out of the snow, and BITE THEIR THROATS OUT!"

"Jolder's gory fantasies aside, wolves die a lot more easily than Guardians. Please, tell me you haven't named them?" Felwinter asked witheringly. He was answered as one of the puppies escaped Jolder and tried to jump on Saladin's knee.

"Oh, no you don't Silimar Jr.!" she lunged, rolling onto her side to avoid crushing the puppy she had held close to her chest, as well as the ones at her knees. She reached out and scooped the escapee up with her free arm.

"Silimar Jr.?" Perun chuckled.

"They both have attitudes." Saladin explained as Jolder fell over.

"Gotcha!" she proclaimed triumphantly as Felwinter shook his head in exasperation. The puppy she held to her chest wriggled and escaped, pouncing on her hair, which was now spread across the floor. He gnawed at a lock of her brown hair, as the puppies that had been near her knees climbed over her right leg while the left one bent upwards. One of them tried to jump over her plated limb, but failed, ending up drooping across her leg, while the other one put her paws up on Jolder's knee, stretching her neck to chew on her brother's ear.

Saladin chuckled, still holding his own puppy away from his face.

"What are _you_ laughing at, big guy?" she demanded.

"You." he answered, grinning slyly. With an offended gasp, Jolder grabbed him by the collar of his armor, pulling him down towards her, and dropped the puppy she had caught onto his back, while the puppy he was holding, now close to Jolder's face, licked the other Titan on her nose. The two of them laughed, Jolder's face soon slick with puppy saliva, and the wolf pup she'd dropped on Saladin's back soon stood with his back paws on his shoulders, half-perched on the black man's head. Efrideet giggled from where she sat, while Perun shook her head, smiling as she continued to sharpen her knife. Behind his book, Felwinter smirked as the puppy on Saladin's head let out a high-pitched howl, causing the two wolf-laden Titans to laugh even harder.

Thus were the days before the Ironsbane.

* * *

 **This was kind of sweet/funny/feels-y sort of one-shot of pre SIVA Iron Lords. I like to think training attack dogs was Lord Saladin's idea, and I can totally imagine his close friend Jolder being in on the plan. It was fun to play with the Iron Lord's personalities; I'm thinking of doing something with their cousins, the Iron Wolves.**

 **OH MY GOSH THERE'S ONLY A WEEK LEFT!**

 **RAISE THY HAND IF THOU ART GOING TO STAY UP TILL 2 IN THE MORNING TO PLAY ROI ON THE 20TH! SAY "I"!**

 **I hope you enjoyed this cuteness overload. I WILL GIVE FREE COOKIES TO ANYONE WHO DRAWS THIS SCENE!**

 **This next chapter is a bit different from what I've written so far, but I was feeling emotional from writing this so...**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Read and REVIEW, my lovelies!**


	6. Day 6

**7**

 **On the sixth day of Rise of Iron, my true love gave to me:**

 **Six ways to survive.**

The first close call happened ten days after the battle. He'd stayed with his ship for far too long. He'd ended up holing himself into it as a raging sandstorm ripped and banged outside the broken vessel. For a whole two days, he whittled away at the few supplies he had left. By the time the storm was over, his ship was half-filled with sand. He'd woken with a start, chin-deep in the grainy substance, weak with oxygen deprivation. He'd barely dug himself out in time, collapsing in the sand outside, recovering his breath and going through a brief period of exhaustion-induced unconsciousness.

Then, he'd picked himself up. he'd kicked his ship and screamed; there was no hope of repairing it now, filled with sand, with all his Crows destroyed by the storm. But still; he'd picked himself up, and switched priorities.

His old goal: get home.

His new goal: _survive_.

The second close call was a foolish, greedy mistake he'd made soon after the first close call. Half-dead with dehydration, he'd drank his fill of the first water he'd found. Too late to correct this mistake, he'd spent the next two days curled up under a rock in agony, until his Awoken immune system destroyed whatever it had been that he'd ingested from the stagnant pool. Lesson learned; to survive, to reach his goal, he must not forget to boil and treat the water he found, no matter how thirsty he was.

The third close call, he'd actually thought he was finally leaving the cursed rock behind. After what may have been an earth month of wondering around, trying to find something that might help him get back to the Reef, he'd come across a Hunter. After a brief and slightly heated discussion, during which he was both agitated and elated, as well as disbelieving of his luck, the slightly confused Guardian had called forth their Ghost to send a message to the Tower; they'd found the missing Prince.

Then Fallen sniper fire had destroyed the little robot. Even now, when the night was at it's most silent, he though he could still hear the Guardian's outcry of anguish and rage. The both of them had run. The both of them had nearly died.

One of them took a shot to the spine and couldn't continue on, and one of them had had to keep running, the screams of tortured agony of the other being ripped apart for fun following him long after the Fallen were far behind. He'd hidden himself in a copse of dry-leaved martian trees for three days, high up in one tree, shaken from the encounter.

The first person he'd interacted with for so long, dead only moments after meeting him.

The first, brightest chance of getting home he'd seen since watching his sister's ship get blasted to pieces, the blast from the weapon rocking his ship, slamming his head into the console and knocking him out cold so that his ship continued on until crashing into this forsaken red rock, the chance gone after only a few moments of blindingly bright and shining hope.

After a while, he'd climbed down. He'd survived. And he would keep surviving.

The fourth close call was the closest. He'd long lost track of time, but it had been a while since the encounter with the Guardian and the Wolves. He'd found an oasis a few days prior, and had an abundance of water with him still.

A good thing, it turned out to be, for that day, he found an old Cabal base. Abandoned. He'd thought it suspicious, but had gone ahead and went inside anyway, as it offered itself at the end of the night, and the old base would offer a great amount of protection from the heat of the coming day.

Abandoned.

Oh, how wrong he'd been. The Psions, likely sent to gather anything recoverable from the base, had come out of nowhere. One of them had sent him flying into a wall with a blast of telekinesis, and the last one, before he could shoot and kill it, had caught him in the side with it's slug rifle. The Cabal, it seemed now, had made several advances in firearms since he'd last fought them. There was something in that bullet that had stopped his blood from clotting.

Rather than stopping or slowing to a trickle, the blood had just kept coming. Realizing that trying to stop it with physical means was a lost cause, and growing dizzy from blood loss, he'd dumped out the contents of the med pack he'd brought from his ship. The very small med pack.

By some miracle, this very small med pack had had a small pack of some sort of clotting agent in it. Quickly losing consciousness, he'd dumped the stuff in his wound messily, and his mind had quickly escaped reality. He wasn't sure how many days he spend laying there, in the drying pool of his own blood, fading in and out of consciousness. He rarely was able to remember the points where he was awake. One of the few he did remember was a brief flash of realization that, at one point, he'd managed to gather enough strength to put an antibiotic on his wound and drink a little water before slipping away again.

But he had survived. There was now a scar in his side to stand testament to the ordeal, but he had survived.

The fifth close call had been, in all honesty, the scariest. And it had cost him more that all the other times put together. He'd found a river; sweet, rushing water, in a shaded ravine or sorts. Plants all around, many of them edible. He'd feasted on cactus fruits and even a roasted lizard that night, sleeping with a full stomach for the first time he could remember since crashing. Even the dirt in the cave he'd found to sleep in had been softer, and much more easy on his still-tender side.

The next day, he'd decided to explore this little mini-paradise he'd found.

A fool he was, too, for leaving his gear behind. For indeed, he'd planned on staying here for quite a while, if circumstances allowed. He'd found a tree on the river bank, leaning out dangerously across the rushing rapids. He'd recognized the fruits hanging from it's branches; safe to eat, a delicacy even. He could survive for weeks on them if and when he set out again. But for that moment, he'd only wanted just one. To take the edge off his hunger for that day, and make sure the fruits were ripe enough to eat.

He never found out. At least, not at that moment. For that was the moment, as he climbed out onto the tree, stretching out a hand to take one of the fruits, that the roots of the tree came loose from the muddy shore, and both the tree and himself had been sent into the water. As a Reefborn Awoken, he wasn't really a fantastic swimmer. And even if he were, the was no way he could have swam in that water, it was going so fast.

The river had toyed with him like a cat playing with it's food, sucking him under until he couldn't hold his breath any longer, then tossing him to the surface for a fraction of a second before slamming him into a boulder and dragging him back under. This process repeated in various orders, until, as water invaded his lungs, he was thrown into open air. He coughed the water up, and was helpless to save himself as he hit the bottom of the waterfall, the scream of pain that left his mouth coming up in a surge of bubbles as his leg broke near the hip from the impact. Unable to swim, drowning, the only reason he was still alive was because his limp, near-dead body had caught on the tree as it floated to the surface after hitting the bottom of the same waterfall.

Coughing and vomiting up river water, he'd shakily pulled himself up to drape himself over the trunk of the tree. He'd taken his knife out, cut a strip of fabric from his cloak, and tied his wrist around one of the tree's branches to keep himself from falling off as he succumbed to unconsciousness. He'd survived. The gear he had left at the cave? He had yet to see of it again.

Because right now, at the bottom of the river, he was enduring the end of close call number six. A raging illness had overtaken him after he'd dragged himself ashore in the freezing cold of the martian night. His leg throbbed, likely infected. The Awoken immune system, when well-fed, could conquer such a task. So, he'd been living off the fruit of the water-logged tree for the past many days, delirious with pain and fever a good majority of the time.

He peeled his eyes open with a groan. Day six after falling. He glared at the tree, which was stuck in the mud on the shore a short distance from the rocky outcropping he'd hidden himself under. He hated that tree. Maybe it was because he now had to drag himself to his feet and endure the pain of making it all the way to the shore for food. Once he got there, he would sit against the trunk, shaking with exhaustion and pain.

He glared at the orange shape in his hand. He hated this fruit as well. Maybe it was because it was the only thing he was living off of at this point; he'd tried to set a trap, but it had yet to catch anything. And still, in the back of his mind, the close-yet-far sixth sense of his sister's possible presence still lingered. It was like torture to him, knowing she might still be out there, out of his reach. He couldn't help her.

How could he, when his every whimper of pain, every delirious dream, every weak outcry, was answered with uncaring silence? Ruefully, he bit into the fruit. He hated it. But he had to eat it. To survive.

Uldren Sov was beginning to tire of survival.

* * *

 **Okay, so this was a far cry from what I've written for this so far. But I just had to get it out, I was feeling emotional from writing that scene with Jolder and Saladin. PUPPIES!**

 **But "What happened to Uldren?" is a question not a lot of people are asking, when it could be the most important one we SHOULD be asking. Especially with Destiny 2 coming just a year from now. We know the MARS social space and area were moved to D2 from TTK, and a lot of flavor text from post-campaign mission in TTK mentioned Uldren.**

 **I think he'll play a role in D2. And really, while we're off collecting SIVA fragments and playing with Iron Gjhallahorns, he's probably having a rough time of it.**

 **Keep reading, folks! The next one won't be depressing, I PORMISE! Two words; "Bobsleds" and "Variks". Enjoy.**

 **Oh, and sorry, dear Jayfeatther; you know I called first turn on the xbox. And I WILL know if you spike my tea with melatonin...**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	7. Day 7

**6**

 **On the seventh day of Rise of Iron, my true love gave to me;**

 **Seven levels of stupid!**

"This," Alex said, "is the single most stupid thing I've ever done."

"You said that about the last stupid thing we did." Carlton reasoned, raising an eyebrow in his direction. Sierra adjusted the goggles on her head.

"Re-lax." she told them smoothly, patting a terrified Variks on the shoulder. "I've done this a million times!"

"I do not know how you convinced me to do this..." the scribe shuttered. Following the campaign against the House of Wolves, he'd been permitted into the Tower for a brief celebration. Conveniently... it also happened to snow on this particular day. And it had snowed heavily. And somehow, Sierra had thought it would be a good idea to introduce him to the age-old human tradition of doing dumb stuff in snow.

"Um, you've done this _never_ , Sierra, in all the time we've known you." Carlton said. Alex nodded fearfully.

"We're seven stories up! That's seven levels of stupid that we're engaging in right now!" he told them. He tried to get up, but Sierra gripped his shoulders and shoved him back down into his seat.

"Oh, no you don't! I spent all day making this, you're sledding down it." she declared fiercely.

"Oh, sure; makeshift bobsled path hundreds of feet in the air; that sound like such a perfect idea!" Alex snorted with fearful sarcasm, peering down. They were on a section of roof on the Tower, and, down below, a bobsled path had been carved in the snow in the main plaza. He gripped the rails of his sled tightly.

"Alright, Three, two..." Sierra began, kicking Alex and Carlton's sled over the edge before getting up behind Variks. The scribe suddenly decided that this was a really bad idea, and tried to get out.

"Perhaps I should-"

"ONE!" she pushed the led forwards, jumping onto it as it went over the edge, and Variks gripped the edges of the sled with all four hands.

Meanwhile, Alex screamed as he and Carlton were dropped off the edge. _Oh, no no no no no!_

"I'M GOING TO BE SICK!" Carlton exclaimed as they hit the ground with a bang and sped along the makeshift track. Several guardians on the sidelines whooped and cheered, while Alex shut his eyes tight, still screaming.

 _Oh, please not_ spirals _! Why did it have to be spirals!?_

He opened his eye just a crack... and instantly regretted it. The Vanguard and Reef visitors had come out into the plaza, and a confused looking Uldren had wondered onto the track.

"OUT OF THE WAAAYY!" Carlton screeched.

Too late.

The Queen whirled around as her brother was carried off by a red blur speeding along the ground, the Guardians on board it screaming.

Alex covered his eyes, screeching. Uldren clung to the front of the bobsled, rage and shock apparent in his face.

"WHAT THE #%* DO YOU IDIOTS THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" The Prince roared.

"SEVEN LEVELS OF STUPID!"

"THE HUNTER MADE US DO IT!"

Alex opened his eyes again... and again, he regretted it. He pointed screaming, at the edge of the Tower, an ice ramp set up over the railing.

"I'm gonna vomit! I'm gonna vomit!" Carlton yelled frantically as they sped towards the ramp.

Don't you _dare_!" Uldren snarled, before turning his head to see what Alex was screaming at. His eyes widened, and he pushing himself off of the sled, getting thrown, rolling, into the snow as the Guardians flew. Carlton threw up over the edge of the bobsled, and far down below, some unlucky citizen was rained upon by puke.

Alex clung, still screaming, to the sides of the sled as they began their descent. So distracted was he by his terror, he didn't even notice as the sled bounced off the rooftops, nor as they slammed into a pile of snow at the bottom, until he realized he couldn't breath, as he was buried in the white fluff. he broke through the surface gasping with terror, desperate for air, heart pounding so hard and fast, he thought he might go into cardiac arrest.

Suddenly, he noticed that there was more than one sled half-buried in the snow, and Variks surfaced nearby, shaking snow off himself. Sierra burst up beside him, fists in the air.

"WHOOOHOOO!" she slugged Variks in the shoulder. "LETS DO THAT AGAIN!"

"Never!" Variks said quickly, rising up out of the snow heap completely.

"Now, don't pretend you didn't have fun!" Sierra insisted cheekily.

"Fun!" Carlton shouted from where he'd just been revived, beside Alex. "I just broke my neck! I _broke_ , my _neck_. My _NECK_!"

"Dude, you jump off the Tower just for the fun of it! Even when Zavala insists on no recreational Tower jumping!" she argued slyly, one eyebrow raised.

"That was... seven levels of stupid, that I will not be repeating, yes?" the Fallen scribe said, working his way away from them through the thick snow pile they had all landed in. Sierra shrugged.

"You lot do what you will; I'm going again!"

* * *

 **So, I've used these Guardians roughly three times now. Alex screams like a girl. Carlot hit the wall at break-neck speed(pun totally intended). Sierra's an adrenaline junkie. Variks... Variks is probably just glad he's alive.**

 **I think Uldren's having an aneurism, he's so angry.**

 **In my head, the look on the Queen's face was priceless.**

 **Next stop is another semi-feels town. Enjoy.**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	8. Day 8

**6**

 **On the eighth day of Rise of Iron, my true love gave to me:**

 **Eight reasons to fight.**

Lord Saladin strode through the small hallway and back into the full light of the Traveler's Walk. There were some promising competitors in the Iron Banner competition this month; three in particular had caught his interest. Fireteam Herp-a-Derp (he'd gotten a good laugh from that one, he wondered who came up with the name).

He smirked at the thought of them, and his smile grew as he came further into the courtyard. Across the way from his usual station, a group of roughly eight children, the children of Guardians, were playing. It was some sort of tag game, one of them had a pair of cardboard wings strapped to his back, and a box on his head had the front rim cut out to form teeth.

He jumped out at them from behind the pillars, where they had been creeping along, giggling.

"ROAR!" he boomed in his tiny voice. The other children squealed and screamed, scattering.

"Ahamkara, Ahamkara! Ahamkara on the loose! Look out!" Several of them squealed, running as the boy charged after them. Squeals, screams, and happy laughter filled the courtyard, and he saw no reason to tell them off for playing in a Guardian-only zone. He was the only one here, after all, and he only saw a few Guardians a day. Today, in particular, was a rather quiet one for him. His smile turned sad as he realized one of the little girls bore a great resemblance to Jolder.

A flash of copper caught his eye, and he turned his head to see two Guardians making their way towards them. They regarded the children on the far side of the yard with mild amusement, before continuing on their be-line for Saladin. He didn't recognize them, he couldn't remember having met them before. They didn't look like Crucible champs to him.

"Ahem, I hear you're the guy to talk to about extreme Crucible stuff." The Warlock began. Saladin nodded, though the tone he detected in the Guardian's voice was not one he liked.

"If it is Lord Saladin you're seeking, you have found him." he nodded. The Hunter shifted nervously on his feet.

"I was just wondering...what's the point?" the Warlock asked boldly. Saladin tipped his head to the side, confused, and the Hunter looked like they might be thinking this was a bad idea.

"The point of what?"

"The Crucible, the Iron Banner. Why fight? Why spend time fighting each other when the Darkness festers? Don't we have better things to do?"

"Why do we fight? Think; if another Dreagen Yor rose, who would be able to defend themselves against him if they had never fought another Guardian before? Guardians spar, but unless they perfect their weapon skills without hinderment, they will not become more skilled. When fighting the Darkness, you know you may not be comeing back if you are killed. But when fighting another Guardian, you are assured of your survival."

"Why do we fight? Look over there, Guardian. Watch those children." he waved a hand in the direction of the game. "They are playing a game, oblivious to the Darkness pressing in on them. Joyous, free. Free of worry, free of strife. The most they must be concerned about is if they have enough money to buy lemonade. They are the reason you fight, Guardians. They are what you must practice protecting. For one day... they will be you. And they will protect you, for you shall be old and gray."

"That, is the reason you fight."

* * *

 **I was feeling a bit noble with this one. *derp***

 **I'm spending most of my weekend trying to get the Dawncaller shader... I have no time to play during weekdays, so this is my last chance for MoT... Wish me luck. Also, go check out the epic SIVA profile pic I made! Took me two days to get it right...**

 **Next stop is the Iron Wolves. Enjoy.**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	9. Day 9

**5**

 **On the ninth day of Rise of Iron, my true love gave to me:**

 **Nine Iron Wolves!**

"Finnala, they're coming your way." Ashraven reported, eyes tracking the Pikes as their drivers led them through the snow-covered Cosmodrome. She, Haakon, and Nirwen were perched on the cliffs overlooking the pass to the Forgotten Shore.

"Splicers." Nirwen sneered with distaste, nose wrinkling. "Is it just me, or do they smell worse then regular Fallen?"

"Uh, no." Haakon admitted sheepishly, shuffling his feet. "I, uh, I had meatloaf for lunch earlier."

"Ugh." Ashraven wrinkled her nose, while Nirwen waved one hand under her nose, pinching it shut with her free hand.

 _"Well, that explains why we thought we smelled the Fallen early."_ Deidris's voice quipped from over the comms.

 _"You know, it really is a wonder that they haven't found you three yet, with Haakon's gas stinking up the place, then."_ Wayloran joked.

"Very mature, guys. Very mature." Haakon rolled his eyes, hefting his gun.

Meanwhile, Finnala shifted her weight a little as she stared down the sights of her sniper rifle, with Colovance as her spotter. Her barrel was focused on the exit of the passage.

"Hey, uh, Finnala?" he started. She flicked her shoulder to show she was listening. The Warlock took a deep breath.

"Wh-when we're done here, do you think... you know... maybe we could, uh... maybe go get a drink together? Perhaps dinner?" he stuttered nervously.

 _Bang_ , _bang_ , _bang_ , _bang_ , four shots total, in quick succession. At the exit for the passage, four Pikes spun out, crashing into each other, the fourth one impacting the pile-up in such a way that the whole of them went up in a magnificent explosion. Colovance gulped, staring at the scene.

Finnala got up, stretching her legs, cloak brushing the snow softly. She stretched her armed high up, yawning, before bending down to pick up her rifle.

"Sure." she told him with a shrug and a playful smirk as she walked past him. He did a sort of mental double-take.

"R-really?" he turned to go after her.

Bretomart and Tormond, waiting on the cliffs above, looked at each other. Tormond lowered his binoculars.

"Damn. He actually did it!" Bretomart snatched the binoculars away.

"Really!? Dammit!" he exclaimed. Tormond smirked at him slyly.

"Cough up." he said, holding out one hand. Bretomart groaned, digging into one of the pouches on his belt. he took out twenty glimmer, and pushed it into Tormond's hand. The other Titan smiled, nodding approvingly. He got on the comms.

"Haaakon, Nirwen, prepare to hand over the cash; Col just asked Finna out." a collective groan sounded over the comms, causing his smile to broaden.

 _"Ha!"_ Diedris's voice barked. _"You own me fifty glimmer, suckers!"_

 _"Wait, who owes De fifty glimmer?"_ Colovance's voice came from over the comms. **(que everyone making a Ditto face)**

"Uhhhhhhh..." Tormond began. he looked to Bretomart sheepishly. "What were we talking about?"

* * *

 **Okay, if you noticed the Chicken Little reference... may the force be with you.**

 **I totally meant to update over the weekend... but I ended up laying a heroic strike binge for 36 hours straight*dies*. I got up to 330 light, finally. I tried writing before actually sleeping, but my brain was fried, so here we are. I'll be updating again later today, so review while you can!**

 **We're going to have some more Tevis and Cayde stuff next chapter! Enjoy.**

 **Also, thank you to sovietshadow for reading and reviewing my pottertrek crossover!**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	10. Day 10

**4**

 **On the tenth day of Rise of Iron, my true love gave to me:**

 **Ten, gold engrams!**

"Hey, uh, hey Brask, before you go in there... I swear, I had NOTHING to do with it." Cayde insisted. the human looked at him with narrowed eyes. They were outside of the Cryptarch archives. Muffled music could be heard through the door.

"Cayde." Brask began warningly "Where's Tevis?"

The exo looked down at his feet, shuffling them. Brask opened the door, and his jaw dropped to the floor. "Born to Be Wild" was blaring from Tevis's ghost, and the Nightstalker himself seemed to have gone off the deep end, pretending that his knife was a microphone. He was standing on a pile of exotic engrams, while Master Rahool tried separately to coax the Hunter down.

He looked a mess. His hair was ruffled, one side flat against his head. There bits of cereal stuck to his face, and there was some sort of sticky glob stuck in his hair.

"Please, Hunter Larsen let us decrypt them! I have a job to do!" Rahool begged. The overexcited hunter ignored him, doing a vehement air guitar instead.

"We kinda binged some Crucible... then we ate a lot of candy, and had too much caffien that's possibly healthy. Then, we may have had one or two bowls of... uh... sugar-saturated cereal. because we partied way into the morning." Brask glared at the exo, who shrugged helplessly. "Hey, we got like, a horde of legendary engrams. And he got a new gun. And it turned out, all those Three of Coins we dumped our savings on the other week... uh, they weren't broken; they were working all along. So we go to the postmaster, cuz they're all angry cuz we both got full inboxes, and what do we find; ten exotics! _Each_!"

The Hunter Vangaurd didn't look impressed. Cayde bumped him in the side with an elbow cheekily.

"Common, Andal; you know you're proud of us!" Brask gripped his apprentice by the front of his armor, shaking him.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO US ALL!" he screamed. "I get none of that kind of stuff effects you, exo, but _him_?!"

"Oh, come on; it ain't that bad!"

Tevis let out a long howl of song, causing Andal to flinch and wave a hand wildly in the Nightstalker's direction.

"HE CAN'T SING! I know that. YOU know that! We ALL, know THAT! You have doomed us all, you here me! ALL!"

"HEY!" Both of them turned their heads, to see Tevis slide down from the small pile and rush up to them. he put one arm around each of their shoulders, swaying dizzily.

"I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN 36 HOURS!" He screamed in their ears, Brask leaning his head away. Cayde pat his sugar-intoxicated friend on the back with a mechanical smile.

"Ugh, Larsen, your breath, STINKS." he huffed. Tevis frowned deeply, mouth hanging open, looking mildly offended.

" _YOUR_ BREATH STINKS!" he accused, looking like he might cry. He took his arm off from around Brask's shoulders. he looked at Cayde desparately.

"Cayde..." he asked softly. "He's being mean. He said my breath stinks."

"I know bud, I know. "

" _He's_ the smelly one!"

"Yeah, I hear you Tev, I hear ya."

"I love ya, bro!" The Awoken collapsed on his friend, wrapping his arms tightly around him in a bear hug, sobbing. Rahool glared at them, casting a particularly dirty eye at Tevis's ghost, who was still playing the music. Cayde pat his friend on the back sympathetically, eying Brask with disbelief.

"Father, how could you!" he begged desperately. His expression soured as Tevis threw up over his back and passed out.

Brask burst out laughing, pointing. Cayde glared at him.

"Oi! It ain't funny! He's unconscious, this is serious!" When the Gunslinger merely bent double, laughing harder, he tried again. "He just threw up on me! That's not funny, Andal! It's not funny at all!"

"May-maybe you'll consider that the next time you overestimate the amount of sugar we mere organics can ingest before going insane! HAHA!" Brask wiped a tear from his eye, and began to walk away. Cayde watched after him desparately.

"Brask! Wait, Brask! Andal, you can't leave me alone with this! ANDAL! AAAANDAAAAAL!"

Brask ignored his screams for help all the way back to the elevator, grinning and waving goodbye at the exo as the doors closed. As the elevator music played, he let out a peaceful sigh, still smiling

* * *

 **Semi-drunk Tevis is blazing. enjoy.**

 **read and review! let me know what you thought of last chapter, too!**


	11. Day 11

**3**

 **On the eleventh day of Rise of Iron, my true love gave to me:**

 **Eleven dregs a'dying!**

 _"What are you doing, Guardian?"_ Came Variks's exasperated sigh over the comms. Alex pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand. They were in the prison of elders, and Sierra was at it again.

"I'm experimenting!" she chirped from her perch on high. They were in the Vex room, and she was up on one of the tower constructs... attempting to build a giant slingshot.

 _"I am not a patient Eliksni; please, do not mess with my prison. Go back to the airlock. NOW."_ Sierra hooked her legs over the edge, and let herself hand upside down to look at Carlton with wide, pleading eyes, abandoning the long, stretchy cloth she'd somehow managed to get ahold of.

"You know, I could always just toss you." the Titan insisted. Sierra gasped, one hand over her heart, looking offended.

"Nobody tosses a Hunter!" she declared. A tragic, impatient, rattling sigh, followed by a bang that sounded like Variks had slammed his head on the desk, caused Carlton to shake his head and Alex to throw his hands up in the air frustrated. Carlton gripped Sierra's arms with his hands, and pulled the Nightstalker down forcefully before slinging her over his shoulder.

"OI! I know I can fly! I believe I can fly!" she protested, punching against his back in vain. Carlton strode towards the airlock with a purpose, Alex following behind.

"You know Variks, you ought to Hunter-proof this place." Alex said.

 _"That is becoming apparent."_ the scribe replied dryly as Sierra protested loudly to that statement. Carlton plopped her down on the floor of the airlock, where she continued to pout.

"Not blazing guys. Not blazing at all."

* * *

They were losing. they were losing _bad_. Sierra could feel her Dusk Bow calling, begging to be let out and used. But their enemies were scattered, not grouped together; even with Blood Bound recently mastered, it wouldn't do much good.

On the other side of the prison, Alex was struggling against a horde of dregs. Her and Carlton ducked behind the cover of a hallway. Carlton peeked out to lok for Alex.

"We have to get to him!" he declared. Sierra closed her eyes.

"Toss me." she whispered. He looked at her, confused.

"Huh?"

"Toss me." she hissed to him. She let out a small yelp as he picked her up, planting her on his shoulders.

"Have a nice trip!" on the last grunted word, he threw her as hard as he could towards Alex's position. She activated her light in mid-air, using it to propel herself farther, and drew her bow. Aiming it down at the horde that had Alex pinned, she fired, tethering roughly eleven dregs to the spot. She drew again, using the last iota of her light to summon up a solid arrow; it wouldn't tether, there was too little Light left, but it would do some serious damage. She let it fly, and it went through and through one of the dreg's heads, imbedding itself into the ground. The dreg exploded, and the damage from the arrow, connected by the tether, transferred to the rest of her enemies, causing them to die and explode as well.

 _"Very nice skills, Guardian."_ Variks praised generously over the comms. She paled.

"Don't tell the Warlock." she whispered.

* * *

 **Okay, aside from being an obvious Lord of the Rings reference ("not the beard!"), this was based on something that happened to me on deviantart. DrAssenov drew a pic of two hunters and a titan, and it looked like the titan was getting ready to throw the Nightstalker, so I typed in a LotR reference. I seriously suggest checking out her art; it's really good!**

 **And I totally failed at updating every day for this, LoL. Now RoI is here, and I look a bit awekward. I've really enjoyed writing this; the response to it has been, quite frankly, AMAZING. No, BLAZING!**

 **Those of you who read Jayfeattheris Awesome's Dysfunctional Fireteam series may have recognized that refence to Fever. Ever since she started using it, me and her now use the word "blazing" on a daily basis. Now, if you haven't ready her destiny series...**

 **WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE!? THIS IS COMEDY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE; TRUE COMEDY! It's really interesting because other than her, I haven't seen any other writers doing fics like hers; an outsider(Prince Uldren) looking in on the lives of these Guardian. Everything else is written from the perspective of a Guardian in this archive(mostly), but it's a unique take on what people on the outside see when they look at these ridiculous warriors of light.**

 **Also, Cayde, Brask and Tevis are blazing. I love the way she writes them!**

 **We'll be dealing with the Trannsmission cootie next time! enjoy!**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	12. Day 12

**On the twelth day of Rise of Iron, my true love gave to me:**

 **Twelve space cootie cases!**

"I don't like it. I don't like it ONE BIT." Shiro-4 voiced, glareing at the the mites that buzzed around his head. Cayde-6 looked at them longingly.

"Wish _I_ had cooties. It'd be exciting." Cayde said lazily.

"There is nothing 'exciting' about being followed around by a bunch of bugs!" the other hunter protested, swiping at the nanites. Cayde brought out a data pad, waving it.

"You clearly haven't seen _this_ , then." he teased. he flicked it on, and Shiro leaned in to look at the feed. It was from the Reef.

* * *

It had been odd. For a whole day, no Guardian at all had visited the Reef. Nobody! Not even one!

And then...

Two whole fireteams had set down. One was primarily made up of Hunters, the other a mix of Titans and Warlocks.

Variks had been relaxing, enjoying a quiet game of Ki, an old Eliksni puzzle. Then screaming and hollering erupting outside his tent.

Grabbing his staff and one hand on his shock pistol,he had burst into the open...

To find Guardians chasing each other. A few of them had strange bug-like object buzzing around their heads. They were the ones doing the chasing. the ones being chased didn't have the buzzing things.

"COOTIES!" a few of them were screaming. he saw Petra nearby staring slack-jawed at the scene before her. What were cooties? Some kind of disease?

"Petra, what is happening? The Guardians have gone mad, yes? What are 'cooties'?" he questioned as he approached.

"I have no idea, Variks." she shook her head dumbfounded. An un-infected Warlock panted, running up to them, seeming to have overheard them.

"Cooties," he began, putting one arm around Petra's shoulders," are a make-believe head lice traditionally spread by girls. It's a very popular game on a school playground. But those yahoos *cough*Hunters*cough*, came into contact with something on mars, and now they've all got this stuff buzzing around their heads. They're kind of going crazy."

They watched as one of the Hunters Jumped up on his friend, treating him like a horse.

"RIDE, SPARKLEPONY MAXIMUS; RIDE!" he screamed. The other Hunter neighed and took off after a Warlock.

"Or maybe it's normal Hunter behavior; it's really hard to tell." the Warlock they were talking to corrected himself. One of the Hunters halted nearby, and pointed at him.

"WARLOOOCK!" he screamed. A Titan halted next to him, the mites buzzing around him. He grinned wickedly, and the Warlock frowned.

"Et tu, Carlton?" he whimpered.

"Sorry," the Titan shrugged, "that's just how cooties work, buddy."

Petra and Variks watched, along with several other Reef natives, as all twelve Guardians infected one another with space cooties.

* * *

 **Ha! Cooties.**

 **RISE OF IRON IS SO BEUTIFUL! Raise thy hand if you climbed the giant cliff yet!**

 **There's one last little short for me to write for this... featuring Skorri. Why shouldn't the battle bard sing our beautiful Iron Song?**

 **Thank you all for reading! Stay tuned!**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	13. The Iron Song

**"...Three exotic swords,**

 **Two brand new knives,**

 **And a Hive Worm in a pantry!"**

Skorri took a deep breath, and bowed. All around the fire, the Iron Lords clapped, a few of them laughing.

Efrideet double took at Gheleon, who sat next to her.

"Dude, are you _crying_?" he gave a start at the sound of her voice. All eyes were on the pessimistic, sometimes-gruesome Hunter. He wiped his face quickly with the back of his wrist.

"What? No. I just stared at the fire for too long. Because I was _bored_." he insisted dully. Efrideet smirked, and Perun and Jolder looked at each other knowingly.

"Oh, _really_?" Efrideet stated accusingly. Felwinter rolled his synthetic eyes in their direction.

"Yes. Really." Gheleon confirmed firmly.

Suddenly, Timur gave a loud cough."Denial." he hid in the sound. Suddenly, everyone that could manage one gave the pessimistic Hunter sly, narrow-eyed looks.

"Is her voice so magical it takes you to faraway winter peaks?" Efrideet sighed romantically, grabbing his arm and leaning against him whilst looking up at him teasingly.

"Does she make you think of windbirds and river forests?" Saladin teased, Gheleon growing redder and redder all the while. Jolder put one hand over her heart.

"No, no; she makes him dream of snow spirits and ghosts singing with her voice!" she declared. Skorri watched the whole thing with amusement and barely contained giggle. Perun, Saladin, and Jolder interlocked arms, swaying slightly as they sang, the rest of the Lords of Iron joining in as they went.

"Skorri, I love you, oh yes I do! When we're apart, my heart beats only for youuu!" Efrideet shook her fellow Hunter lightly, his face now greatly resembling a tomato, as the Iron Lords laughed.

Gheleon stood up, shaking Efrideet off of him. Rather than storming off into the woods like the Hunter he was until his friends calmed down, he marched up to Skorri...

And kissed her.

Radegast, who had taken a bite out of his chicken leg, made an odd sound. Perun, who had gotten the hiccups and put some water to her lips, spit the water out right into Jolder's face. The Titaness did reach, as, aside from Radegast(who seemed to be choking), and the spitting Perun, everyone else stared at the scene with jaws hitting the floor. Gheleon broke away from Skorri.

And _then_ he stormed off into the woods like the Hunter he was. Everyone continued to stare. Radegast gripped at Silimar, who was neck to him, desperately, other hand on his throat, gawking soundlessly for air. The other Titan slammed his friend and leader hard on the back, still staring, and everyone continued to stare as the piece of chicken flew out of Radegast's mouth and into the fire. As the leader of the noble Iron Lords gasped for breath, Skorri the battle bard fell backwards into the snow in a dead faint. Felwinter gave his head a small shake.

"I'm sorry, are my optics glitching? Did I really just see that?" he asked to no-one in particular. Everyone nodded slowly.

"I think maybe we pushed him a little far." Efrideet said after a while. Suddenly, Jolder gave a wild, excited yelp.

"Guys, you know what this means!?" she asked them all excitedly.

"Every patrol those two will do from here on out is going to be done in awkward silence?" Efrideet guessed.

"No! It means they could have a wedding!" She squealed. Perun gasped, gripping her friends shoulders.

"Oh my gosh, that would be wonderful! Skorri would look beautiful in a dress!"

"I know, right? And her hair's just perfect for a rose braid bun!"

"Oo, I know this warlord, remember the one near England, that nice old guy? His wife put my hair up in this awesome looking French braid pattern!"

"We could use my makeup, she would look positively ravishing in copper! Make her eyes pop, you know?"

As the two girls squealed excitedly, chattering on about makeup as Gheleon, somewhere, strode through the woods, and as Skorri lay unconscious in the snow, Radegast, Saladin and Silimar shared dumbfounded looks. Timur was still staring at the place the even had happed in, still slack-jawed(or maybe lock-jawed). Felwinter looked between them and the women, and then shrugged.

"Girls." he stated, shaking his head slowly.

* * *

 **Ah, it's finally done... and woefully late. I totally failed my self-appointed schedule with this one.**

 **It was so fun to write this! All of these! And the reception it's gotten is mind-blowingly amazing! My fics never really get any notice; mostly because my main focus is an obscure Harry Potter/ Star trek: Deep Space Nine crossover(we call it a "pottertrek" for short). I did a one-shot of Destiny back when I was a noob to the game, and I wrote a Mass Effect one-shot earlier this year just for kicks, but those aren't well-noticed either.**

 **I'm not good at responding to reviews. I don't respond to every review every chapter, like my good friend Jayfeattheris Awesome(go read her fics, they're seriously good). Since this was a one-shot series that would end fairly quickly, I decided that I will respond to reviews ONCE, and only ONCE; at the end of the fic. What you type into the review box now is what I'll respond to in PM, and I'll respond to a few of you other, previous reviews as well.**

 **Now, A few of these chapters got little, to no, love. Chapters 11, 6, and 3 to be specific. I really wanted to know what people thought of chapter 6, but nobody reviewed it. Please, if you can, take your time and let me know what you thought of these chapters, please? I would really mean a lot to me.**

 **What was your favorite chapter of this? Why? Which moments made you laugh, which ones made you cry, which ones made you want to go out and save the world? Do you think I should do this again, for when Destiny 2 comes out?**

 ***sighs* I suppose now I must go crawling back to my lonely corner of the internet. Perhaps a few of you will tune in for the sequel to my Mass Effect one-shot, yes? And perhaps some of you will visit my lonely little pottertrek, yes? Maybe you can rekindle my fire for it... I have to kind of drag myself in order to re-write chapter five. It ain't pretty, it ain't going well.**

 **Goodbye, and, as always...**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


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